"But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor 12:9 

Since Joshua Benjamin’s birth, God has had me in an intense course of sufficient grace. I have started this course several times, but when I get to the tests, I drop the course. Before when I thought of God’s grace, I typically pictured the beautiful undeserved favor given at the cross for sin. This is a big part of God’s amazing grace, but I am thrilled it goes beyond that into daily – EVERY.SECOND.OF.THE.DAY – life. He has been giving me a fuller understanding of God’s powerful grace in my daily struggles.

During this period of my life I have found myself more at the end of my rope than ever. I find myself staring into the face of my humanity, my weakness, my inabilities, my in adequacies, my limitations…my SIN. I don’t like my weakness. I want to be strong. I admire strength. I could relate to Paul pleading to God to remove the thorne/weakness, but I couldn’t relate to Paul saying he would boast in his weakness.  When Joshua Benjamin was only 2 months, Joshua had to go on a month long trip. During this time I feel like God whispered into my heart over and over “Look for my grace.     It          is            sufficient.” Slowly I began to open my scrunched eyes and look for His grace. I found if I had open expecting eyes I could see His grace more readily. To help open my spiritual eyes I would repeat over and over “My Grace is sufficient for you." It was easier for me to find His promised grace if I wasn't expecting it to look the way I WANTED, but it was there EVERY TIME. I noticed that it usually looked different each time He met me at the end of my rope, but HE was THERE.

“The gospel enables you and your children to face the worse in yourselves – your sin, your badness, and your weakness – and still find hope, because grace is powerful.” Tedd Tripp

When I read this quote this morning, I almost jumped out of my seat in excitement. It summed up another part of God’s grace that I hadn’t been able on my own. Not only is there grace and forgiveness for my sin and weaknesses, but His sufficient grace allows for me to have HOPE as I stare at them. When I see my weakness, my mistakes, my sinful tendencies, hope is what was glaringly missing in my reaction and walk with the Lord. Instead I felt defeat and despair. I turned to self-pity. I become hopeless. I tend to live under the weight of condemnation… Many times the way I tried to get past this state was self-help. The good old “pull yourself up by the boot straps.” Yes, because I am a believer, I usually asked God for help when in my “I got to do better” mode, but I saw it as…, “well, time to improve” -> “I have just got to get it together.” But what God has showed me is that trying harder is not the answer. His GRACE is the answer. There is POWER in His grace. There is HOPE in His grace. There is JOY in His grace. There is FREEDOM in His grace.

Dare to look for His grace and you will find it!

First Hair Cut

"Does my hair look pretty?" Charis asked with a nervous smile.

"Yes..."  THEN I realized what I was looking at!

"Charis Noelle!!" I gasped. My eyes watering ...She CUT HER HAIR!  I recently wanted to trim Charis hair, but she wasn't ready and neither was daddy. She said she loved long hair and didn't want to cut it. Daddy said he loved Charis hair the way it was. I had wanted her first cut to be a fun girl time and a memorable moment with pictures. She also had been warned out of my fear this could happen never to cut her hair or anything else I hadn't given to cut!

She burst into tears. Despairing tears. Remorse tears. Regret tears....I know those all to well in my own life. I immediately knew she needed grace. My heart suddenly was breaking for her and not myself. I scooped her up into my arms.This first hair cut got turned into a teaching opportunity of remorse and grace. Even as Joshua and I held her, the tears continued. We explained what she felt was guilt. We talked about natural consequences and obedience. We got to dish out forgiveness and grace. 

"AM I still pretty? Is my hair still pretty? It will grow back?" she asked fingering her hair. We talked again about true beauty. I told her even if she had no hair, we would think she was beautiful. 

This certainly wasn't the way I would have planned it, but she learned a whole lot more this way than sitting in a beauty salon getting her hair trimmed. 

Joshua Benjamin

Once again I will praise the Lord! Once again I am in awe of God's grace (unmerited favor) on us to grant us the gift of children. On August 25th, Joshua Benjamin was born. He has the distinction from his siblings of being the earliest from his due date, the fastest labor, being born overseas...AND not to be forgotten the distinction of having to wait 3 days for his name! I know we will never live that one down! My prayer is that he will be strong & courageous for the Lord and that he will love God's word like his daddy and as God exhorted Joshua in Joshua 1:2-9. May God be glorified!

My Growing Boy

Gabriel is now 18 months

Love him!

Click here for sister at same age...

My Sweetheart's Birthday

It was a lemon flavored quiet family birthday. 

(Not to be confused as Gabriel's b-day...just reused his candle)

PS...I LOVE my man!

Too close to the edge...

This weekend we were hiking with some of our friends up to Kalidonia Waterfalls. It was refreshing to walk beside a stream of water with tree cover and be surrounded by green vegetation. The coolness of the brook and the shade seemed to wash over the blistering hot days with no cloud cover we had been enduring the past few weeks. The children on the hike couldn't contain themselves and any moment the trail came near the water they stopped to wade in it. One mother chided her children not to get to close to the edge of a cliff. Charis who wants to understand everything asked what "the edge" was, and we laughed as we attempted to explain (it is harder than you would think).

On our way back, we decided to take a different route which had a wider path of switch backs. It was suppose to be less scenic (I still found it beautiful!) but quicker. The children ran and laughed giving the parents time to chat. Suddenly Charis' ear piercing scream interrupted the peaceful mountain air. I turned to see my precious child sliding down a cliff. Her eyes were full of fear and her hands surrounded by sliding rocks reaching upward. Adrenaline kicked in and with little thought of being almost 8 1/2 months pregnant, I threw off my bags and jumped off the edge as if I was sliding down a slide. My momentum caught up to my sweet girl and her hands got stuck under my backside giving me a chance to grab her. At first I was afraid I had crushed her hands or broken something because she cried out again in pain. Pressing my feet into the loose ground I grabbed her. I hugged her tight assuring her everything was going to be okay. Joshua who had been up ahead was there already and with help of another holding onto the trees around, they helped us up. 

When we got back, Charis recounted the story in her own words on video: "...I fell down the mountain. Daddy told me not to go close to the EDGE and I DID. And I FELL down the mountain and I scratched myself..." I am so grateful for my heavenly Father's mercy and grace who takes care of us and our children even when we get too close to the edge.

"Daddy, why is it cold in here?"

Here is a video of Charis (completely unprompted...we only asked her to repeat the question) asking why it was cold inside the large mall here.  Just a few days prior she asked me what "Air Conditioning" was while watching a show...

4th of July

Curry Leaves Lessons

A little over a week ago I got an exciting notice in our village mail box. A long awaited box was in customs at the main post office in Limmassol. Quickly we changed our plans and jumped in the car since the office closes at 1:30pm. We decided to swing by the home of one of the youth in our church. Joshua was going to try to help fix a car door window. My plan was to drop Joshua off and go to the post office and complete other errands on my checklist. I was in my task oriented mode. Before I got to drive off, Joshua let me know that the youth's mother wanted to meet me. Quickly I had to change my mode so I would enjoy the visit. While I visited, I had a tasty Sri Lankan chickpeas dish. The flavor reminded me of an amazing Indian dish a friend had taught me to make in the US so I asked the lady of the house where there was a good Indian store and if I could find curry leaves here. She joyfully said she had some curry leaves in her freezer and explained where the Indian store was. I accepted her gift only to later understand that the curry leaves had come from Sri Lanka and couldn't be found fresh or frozen here! I proceeded to I try to tell her I couldn't take them, but she would hear nothing of it. As we drove off to get our package from the post office, it hit me further what this sweet lady have given me. It would be like giving up MY chocolate chips from the US. Those are precious to me. Would I have given them if someone had told me they use chocolate chip in a recipe? Would I have given them to someone that wasn't from the US because do they really like them as much? The Holy Spirit wouldn't let me lie to myself...I probably wouldn't have. AND if I had my way that day I wouldn't have even learned this humbling lesson of giving joyfully from what is precious.

26 Bible Songs

When Charis was learning the Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"  (see this post), Joshua and I looked for a song to go with the verse. We found this "CD" (we bought it on Itunes with some of my birthday money). These songs seasoning the air have been revolutionizing for our little family. There is something powerful about the word of God in song.  As Charis listens to the songs she will pipe up "I want a clean heart" or "I want to be kind."  Gabriel tries singing along "do, do, do ..." It has also brought up spiritual conversations like what it means to "Quench not the Spirit". These truths have convicted my heart on more than one occasion. It was the best $5 we have spent on our family in a long time!!!

Summertime is for...

Sunglasses and No Shirts

Bubbles and Swimsuits

ICE ... LOTS of it!

Swimming

Sitting together on the floor with cold drinks

Eating Watermelon

Lilies of the Field

God's provisions are beautiful. They come in ways we don't expect and don't deserve. They rarely look the same as before. Sometimes they aren't what we need but are a real treat. Over this past year overseas, God has provided in sweet and beautiful ways. It has been a hard year ... there have been many plain meals (I have made canned tuna in just about every way possible!) and there have been times I struggle to not want to focus on the wrong thing. But also numerous times I have seen God's hand in such sweet and unexpected ways that I can't help but share a few of God's provisions:

Fresh veggies & fruit given to us from a local vineyard

Beautiful clothing given & lent to us from family & friends

(This dress was from Joshua's mom)

An invitation from my cousin & husband to stay

several days at an amazing villa at the Sea (Spain)

Thrifty friends that informed us about a wholesale store

to buy the least expensive eggs, chicken, mozzarella & pepperoni 

And a few others...a crib and car seat for Gabriel, new earrings, 1lb of yeast for baking, passing the MOT (a vehicle inspection on a very old and beat up car)... I could list more than anyone would want to read, but I want to publicly bless God for some of His gifts! AND I want to remind those reading that God's word is TRUE:

 “...do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air... Consider the lilies of the field..."

Celebration !?!

As we passed a year since we left home for Spain, Joshua and I found this day to be bitter sweet. Anyone knowing how we dreamed to do what we are doing or how we had to fight for our visas to stay in Cyprus would probably wonder how could there be any sadness in this day. One word: Homesickness.  A "canker-worm" in our line of work as Vaughan in 1875 aptly called it. There are days I can't imagine being anywhere else. Then there are the days I fight myself not to beg God to take me back home. Even as we reached the one year mark of being overseas, Joshua's family was gathered for an annual beach trip. While our hearts rejoiced for them to be together, we fought the emotions of missing being with them. I found myself facing and wondering how do I fight homesickness?  The best resource I found like with anything was soaking myself in truth - in the word of God. One of the messages to the Israelites was to REMEMBER. Just like remembering and trusting that God brought me together with the person I am married to or that God gave me the children He planned for me so it is with homesickness. I have to remember why we are here. So we remembered ...and we celebrated with cake too! Celebrating being gone? Well, maybe not that, but celebrating all God did to help us on this journey he has taken us on thus far. 

Park Connoisseur

In order to help Daddy be able to be more effective while working from home, I have started to visit parks a lot more. Lately we have been walking to some that are even far away to help me get exercise something I haven't been as good at this pregnancy. I used to somewhat "envy" moms that could go parks regularly. My first years as a mom this wasn't the case for me being a working mom. Even when I worked from home, it was a challenge to find time for parks because I had to keep a pretty tight schedule to insure I got everything done. Now I probably go to parks more than I want! Isn't that life?! And isn't that human nature?...Never Satisfied! It has been a little lesson to me about seasons of life and that God is gracious and gives even this {ungrateful} heart the desires of her heart. AND I am learning another lesson in gratitude and contentment.

Here are some of the parks we visit with the names Charis has given them (I LOVE how she does that):

The Touching Park (her feet reach the ground)

The Frog Park

The Snail Park

Gabriel's Park

 

The Pink Park (our new discovery!)

It's hard to say bye bye paci

Charis as of 2 weeks ago was still using a paci. I know, I know...she is 3! But please bare in mind before you judge too quickly that she (AND her mama) did go through a lot her between her 2nd and 3rd birthday including 2 international moves.

One day Joshua told Charis she was all done with her paci and asked her to hand it over to him. I wouldn't have ever picked this day. He had just gotten back from a trip, I was weary, and we were going to be leaving Charis with my parents while we went for our ultrasound with indefinite wait times. It wasn't in my mind the "perfect" day for embarking on what I knew would be a drama filled days. Drama filled moments there were, but God taught Charis and me so much. 

I was reminded that I have a tendency to wait for the stars to align when it comes to confronting big issues in my mind. More importantly I had a sweet reminder to trust God leading Joshua even in the small things like pacis. I can not tell you how I wanted to tell Joshua how bad an idea I thought this was (God must have muzzled my mouth!). Yet now that this is over I am SO glad he took the initiative! This needed to happen (even her teeth will thank me). 

The sweetest thing that both Charis and I got to experience and see in action was the POWER of God's word. Since Charis took a paci, taking a nap was almost a switch for her. You gave her a paci, blankie & lambie and boom she was asleep no matter where we were. This made nap times the hardest. One nap time, I heard her whimpering the phrase we heard a lot that week "it's hard to say bye bye paci." I went in the room and sat beside her. I told her how God could give her the strength to do this. I taught her Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (KJV) We said it together several times and made up motions. I saw a change since that moment in the process of giving up what was like a drug to her. She has since asked me to repeat it with her and daddy even found a song we all sing as a family. I love how God can use everything to grow us in Him!

Charis with celebration cupcakes 

Mothers in My Life

Yesterday as I thought about different mothers I know, I was struck with the amazing mothers I have been surrounded by and their amazing examples. Here's to some of the amazing mothers in my life and a quality (each have many more!) I admire and want emulate:

my Mom - Her example of seeking God daily and praying for her children.

my Mama (in-law) - Her example of sacrifice and giving.

my Grandma - Her passion for spreading the gospel.

my Nana - Her unconditional love for others.

my sister, Sara - Her gentle and sweet spirit - truly a woman of grace!

my sister (in-law), Soraya - Her way of capturing life with her words and her lenses.

my sister (in-law), Kelly - Her amazing creativity in her gentle teaching and instructing of her children.

my sister (in-law), Hannah - Her ability to do so many things with excellence.

my cousin Laura - Her love for motherhood and homemaking.

my friend Stefanie - Her quiet strength.

my friend Leigh - Her love for people and ability to make them feel loved.

my friend Jennifer - Her adventurous spirit.

my friend Lyndsey - Her mind - it is a steal trap!

my friend Becky - Her willingness to sacrifice for the kingdom.

It's a ...

After a four hour wait at the General Hospital (one of my training ground in God's school of patience and trust), Joshua and I got to see our precious child. We found out we are having a BOY! We are thrilled and grateful to God that everything seems healthy. We would have been happy with either a boy or girl, but I am excited for Gabriel to have a brother so close in age. Joshua and his brother, Gabe (Gabriel), are about the same age difference than our little Gabriel and his baby brother will be. This makes me even more excited about it.

Since I became a part of the Fleming family, I have always enjoyed watching how Josh and Gabe relate, joke and share life. Probably one of my all time favorite things is to watch them play sports together but especially basketball. They both move with such ease and are almost like twins knowing what each others next move will be and doing everything to assist each other be successful. I hope and pray that my sons will be good friends who value each others advice, can talk and point each other to Christ. I do even hope they will even play sports together like their father and uncle because it is really fun to watch! Most of all I pray that all my children will love God with all their hearts, mind and souls and love each other.

"Ba Ba"

I want to praise God for a little thing that happened recently. I was putting pjs on my fourteen month old who is constantly on the go so this can turn into a wrestling match/training ground. Exhausted I had handed him a phone toy to play with hoping to avoid any "work" this time. He would babble pretending on the phone and then say "bye". He doesn't say, "ba ba" for "bye bye", but says "bye" in one slow syllable... almost with a Southern accent. He lost interest in the phone and laid STILL (!). Looking up at me, he began saying "ba ba." I handed him back the phone and tried hard to figure out what he was saying - our little game recently. As the last snap popped on the pjs, a light went off in my mind.

"BIBLE! Do you want your Bible?" I asked since he recently started saying this word.

Gabriel grinned and giggled. I handed him his little Bible, and he repeatedly said "ba ba" as his little fingers clumsy flipped through the pages. It has just been a month since he completely weaned from nursing, and I added Bible reading before bed. Sometimes this last all of 30 seconds, but I have been trying to give him a taste of this goodness. I tend to worry because he isn't interested in books in the same way Charis was. He won't sit long, and it is harder for me to find time to read to him like I did with Charis... so I pile on a little guilt here and there on myself.

When this happened the other night, a conversation about raising children came to mind where a friend shared wise advice she had heard - "Do what you can when you can." She was talking about being faithful when you can and trusting God for the rest. I may be making too much of this, but I felt encouraged by God as a parent and filled with hope for Gabriel. How I hope this is the beginning of him falling in love with God's word and of the Holy Spirit working in his little heart.

Cyprus Wildflowers

In the midst of the hard and rocky soil of Cyprus, up spring wildflowers like these. Their beauty bringing glory to their Creator. People come from far off places this time of year to see their colors and marvel at their unique beauty. As they sway in the wind they seem to be bidding adieu to rainy cold winter and to have forgotten of the hot dry summer.

Lord, may I be like these wildflowers, sprouting where it is unexpected, bringing You glory, pointing people from far off places to You and forgetting what is behind while straining for what is ahead.

May this be true for you too...

"Χριστός ἀνέστη!" - Christ Has Risen

Since we celebrated Easter for over two weeks here, I had two Resurrection Sundays to try to capture my little ones...

Joshua and I both concluded we liked having a longer celebration of Jesus' death and resurrection. It felt more like Christmas. In Cyprus, "Pascha" is a bigger celebration than Christmas with multiple church services, prayer vigils, lots of church bells, fireworks, bonfire to burn Judas, family gatherings and everyone greeting each other with "Christos Anestis"..."Christ has risen"!